Relationships are complicated. What once started out as amazing and even romantic movie-esque, can turn into something of an endless nightmare. But, when you’re in a relationship with someone, being with your partner can easily become a routine. And, as you are seeing your relationship through rose colored glasses, it might be difficult to necessarily notice certain behaviors which could easily be seen as a red flag.
Finding a worthwhile partner as a woman in the 21st century is difficult enough as it is, how do you know when to hold on to the relationship and when you need to let go?
So let’s take a step back for a while, where you might be able to see things from a different point of view, and to help you pinpoint the behaviors that you need to look out for, here are the 5 signs that you have to get out of your current relationship:
- They’re abusive
Whether it be verbal, physical, sexual, or financial abuse, you should never tolerate or justify your partner’s actions. It might seem obvious to some, but, it might be difficult for those within the relationship themselves to actually see what is going on. There is never an excuse for abusive behavior, and if you are experiencing any form of it, you need to get out of that relationship immediately.
If you aren’t sure how or if you’re questioning whether it is abuse at all, there are many organizations that are offering help. For a Filipina, the Philippine Commission on Women offers services and more information on their website. Remember, you’re not alone in this.
- There is a lack of respect
For any relationship to work, respect is fundamental. If your partner insults or belittle you, doesn’t listen to your concerns, gaslights you, or even lies and cheats, then they don’t have respect for you. Being in a relationship is being with a partner, someone with whom you view of mutual standing. With that in mind, abusive and dishonest actions, and being unwilling to compromise are clear signs that your partner doesn’t care about what you are feeling and what matters to you
Overall, if your relationship always revolves around how only one person feels and wants to do things, then they don’t have respect for you and you’re clearly not in a good relationship.
- There is a lack of trust
Most of us would agree that a healthy relationship is built upon trust. But what if your partner has already betrayed your trust and there is no way of rebuilding it? A lack of trust could make you question everything (if your partner is really where they say there are or with who they say they’re with when you’re not together), it could easily cause anger, jealousy and fights like yelling, threatening, and screaming at each other until both of you are tired and hurting.
With all of this happening, maybe it’s time to rethink why you are together in the first place at all. Ending a relationship with someone you don’t trust is fully acceptable, and you don’t need to feel any shame with whatever it is that you’re feeling. It’s all about what makes you happy.
- One-sided
With you and your partner experiencing a rough patch, some women would reminisce to when the relationship had a strong connection. Some would do their all to salvage this connection and regain that spark once again. The only problem with this is, you’re the only one exerting any effort.
Relationships are about mutually sharing burdens, being someone’s rock, to help and build each other up, which isn’t possible if only one person is doing it. If not both people are doing the work then it’s just another form of taking advantage of someone or simply put—abuse. If you’ve been feeling like you don’t have your partner’s support or they aren’t putting in any effort to make the relationship work, then maybe it’s time to move on.
- You’re unhappy
All your relationships should only be kept if they are making you happy, you are in no way obligated to anyone. You should be excited about seeing and being with them, not dreading the experience. It’s important to pinpoint the root of your unhappiness, it might be caused by external or internal conflicts which could have nothing or everything to do with your relationship. Being able to understand why you’re feeling unhappy will help you figure out if you should fix the problem or choose to leave.
Of course, it is unrealistic to think that all relationships will always bring you happiness all the time. But at the end of the day, a healthy relationship should still make you feel safe, respected, loved, and supported, despite those times where it made you unhappy.
Relationships are tricky and will most likely be nothing like you imagined it to be. That is why it is important that you should know when to choose yourself and be happy. There is no shame in admitting that your relationship is not offering you the same support and contentment that it once has. Let the relationship go if that’s the case, no relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship after all.
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